Author Kay Toy Fenner

Kay Toy Fenner is best known as the author of American Catholic Etiquette, a comprehensive guide to Catholic manners, customs, and social conduct first published in 1961 by The Newman Press in Westminster, Maryland.

Although relatively little biographical information about Fenner appears to be publicly available, her book provides some insight into her interests, values, and approach to Catholic life.

Published during a period when Catholic customs and traditions played a prominent role in American family and parish life, American Catholic Etiquette was intended to help Catholics understand not only proper social behaviour but also the religious significance behind it.

Her acknowledgements reveal that she worked closely with the Reverend Joseph P. Conway, Vice Chancellor of the Diocese of Albany, whose advice and assistance she considered essential to completing the book. She also consulted academic resources at the College of St. Rose and Siena College and received editorial and marketing assistance from Dr. Doris Grumbach.

The book covers an impressive range of subjects, including:

• The proper observance of the sacraments and Catholic ceremonies.

• Baptisms, First Communions, confirmations, weddings and funerals.

• Respect and appropriate conduct toward priests and religious.

• Behaviour at Mass and responsibilities as a parishioner.

• Catholic family life, raising children and teaching good manners.

• Catholic customs, fasting, abstinence and appropriate forms of address.

Fenner’s underlying philosophy was that good manners were not simply a matter of social convention. She believed that courtesy, consideration and proper conduct were expressions of one’s Catholic faith. She also wanted Catholics and their non-Catholic friends to understand one another’s religious customs and participate respectfully in important occasions.

American Catholic Etiquette was evidently well received: it went through at least four printings by 1963, just two years after its initial publication. It also received a favourable review in The Josephinum Review in December 1961.